The Bull’s Balls

Good morning investors!  I just arrived back from vacationing in New York over the past few days.  There were many sites to see there, however one important visit was Wall Street.

Near Wall Street is a bronze sculpture of a charging bull; a motif of upwards financial prosperity.  Each day thousands of tourists line up to take pictures of themselves rubbing the bull’s nose and gripping its horns and balls, which are actions meant to bring good financial luck to the molester (in the form of controlling the bull by the balls).

While this may make a cute picture, unfortunately it does not bring any financial success to the populace.  I thought to myself, what needs to be added so that the bull could actually bring financial success?

First, if the tourist would stroke the nose and receive a dose of soothing rationality – that’ll be a start.  He or she would no longer purchase overvalued stocks on the rise and sell undervalued stocks at the dips. 

Second, if the tourist grab the horns and be rewarded with basic business knowledge, he’d be able to spot opportunities and risks in the market.  Stock purchases would no longer be done on a whim, but would be calculated and primarily mechanical.

And third, if the testical grab would eject practical insight of market movements and psychology then the tourist could return home and achieve a 180-degree transformation of his investment strategy.  After all, the greatest asset in the world is being able to understand how and why people behave the way they do.

Can the City of New York do anything to accomplish these three objectives?  Yes, I have a plan.  First hollow-out the bull and replace the inside with “The Stock Market Outsider” books, then install a mechanism that dispenses a book for each tourist. 

Now each tourist would receive a tangible financial benefit rather than the false perception that his or her luck instantly changed with a fondling of the Bull’s Balls. 

Will the City of New York make this happen?  Not likely. 

Don’t fret though, you’ve already put yourself ahead of those tourists by reading my posts – it shows that you have the motivation and knowledge to seek out a better life through wise investment decisions.

Now go grab those balls today.

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